Who would have believed it?
A good friend died on the Saturday before the November 2016 election.
I’ve been wondering ever since: would he have believed what has happened in the years after? How could I possibly have explained what has transpired? How could he have possibly imagined
That a TV reality show personality with no experience in government and a history of failed enterprises and outrageous comments would be elected president of the United States.
That a buffoon who was president of the United States would lie about everything from the size of crowds to the direction of a hurricane, to the tune of an average of 21 public lies for each day of his presidency.
That a conman who was president of the United States would try to ban residents of Muslim-majority countries from coming to the United States.
That a grifter who was president of the United States would refer to developing nations as “shithole countries.”
That an incompetent who was president of the United States would reject our long-term alliances and instead cozy up to the worst dictators in the world.
That the snake-oil salesman who was president of the United States would try to cajole a foreign leader to dig up dirt on a political opponent.
That the swindler who was president of the United States would be impeached for that action but that members of his political party would cowardly choose political allegiance over national loyalty and fail to convict and remove him from office.
That the worst pandemic in a century would hit the world and the clown who was president of the United States and in charge of our response to the health crisis would suggest … bleach.
That the charlatan who was president of the United States would not accept the results of an election he lost.
That the fraud who was president of the United States would try to wheedle more votes out of election officials to change the election outcome and not even be aware—or care—that he was being taped.
That the proto-fascist who was president of the United States, failing to legally overturn the results of an election, would foment an insurrection and that his followers would ransack the Capitol as he watched placidly on television.
That the clown who was president of the United States would be impeached again for his actions to thwart a peaceful transfer of power.
That the dipshit who was president of the United States would, once again, escape unscathed because his spineless political party would value politics over country.
That, after all that happened, the incompetency, the criminality, the flouting of laws, there would be no significant consequences to his actions.
That five years after his often ignorant and incompetent response to the Covid pandemic likely contributed to the United States having a higher death rate than other high-income G7 countries, four years after he fomented an insurrection, four years after he had proven his total incompetency to lead this country and several months after he became a convicted felon, more than 80 million people would vote for him again to become president of the United States.
That, despite everything that had happened, despite everything we all knew about him and his plans, despite his increasing age and incoherence, he would, indeed, become president of the United States one more time.
That he would, in his first hours in office again, pardon those who had ransacked the Capitol and battered police officers and called for the death of the vice president of the United States and took a shit in the offices of members of Congress.
My friend, I’m pretty sure, wouldn’t have believed all of it. No way, he’d tell me, I’m ever going to get that work of fiction published.
My friend, I think, would believe that I had made at least some of it up. If only I had.