Are you a party girl or nonparty? Were you a good girl or bad girl?

      More than 50 years ago I was on the receiving end of those questions—so their recent revival is a punch to my gut. I could hardly believe what I have been reading about Trump’s nominee to lead the Department of Defense. As the CEO of several nonprofit veterans’ organizations, this guy apparently pursued female employees, informally dividing them into “party girls” and “not party girls,” while creating a hostile, predatory environment for women employees.

     I thought as a society we had moved beyond such misogyny. I was wrong. . . .

      We came of age in—if you’ll forgive me—a “golden age” of murder stories.

      And this past week a story that seems something of a throwback to that era—the shooting of a health-plan CEO in Manhattan—has captured oodles of attention. Mine included. 

      It is important to keep in mind, of course, the tragedy at the heart of this story—the cold-blooded murder of a father of two. But much about this story is indeed fascinating in a tabloid kind of way:

•        The apparently meticulous planning behind the shooting.

•        The murderer’s also seemingly well-planned escape—which included, in a sylvan touch, a bike ride through Central Park.

•       And the hint that the murder was somehow in retribution for sins of the organization the victim headed . . . .

     Barb Nolfi agreed to be my midwife back in 1977. I wanted a home birth. Barb coached me and guided me through my pregnancy. She was deeply knowledgeable, lived close to the Earth, and approached my care with the wisdom of an all-knowing old soul.

      After the baby was born, I asked Barb to use a satin ribbon that belonged to my husband’s grandmother to tie off the umbilical. She was hesitant but agreed. When it was all over, we fried up the placenta with lots of butter, onions and garlic. We believed in the health benefits and humans are the only mammal that does not eat its placenta, and it is the only meat that comes from birth and not from death.

      Back then—living close to the land—we wanted to be true to our animal instincts and Barb Nolfi supported us in every way. She was one of us. . . .

Here—from Robert Reich’s Substack and so we are alert to all possibilities—is a possible worst-case scenario:

    “Trump may force a second civil war on America with his plan to use the military to round up at least 11 million undocumented people inside the United States — even if it means breaking up families — send them to detention camps, and then deport them.

     “As well as his plan to target his political enemies for prosecution — including Democrats, journalists, and other critics.

     “What happens when we, especially those of us in blue states and cities, resist these authoritarian moves — as we must, as we have a moral duty to? . . .

After working on our story about The 10 Biggest Changes in the United States in Our Lifetimes, I began thinking more personally. So, here are the ten biggest changes in my life, in some kind of ascending (or maybe descending) order:

10. In first grade, I learned how to tie my shoelaces. This was years before Bass Weejun penny loafers became popular in my demographic and made my new skill irrelevant.

9. At the age of 10 or so, I went with my father to my first professional baseball game, I immediately dedicated my life to becoming the New York Yankees’—and major league baseball’s—first left-handed shortstop. 

8. In late 1963, I heard and saw the Beatles, in a TV clip . . . .

One would think

By the time one reaches one’s seventies

One would have learned

That succumbing to the temptation of procrastination

Ultimately leads only to vexation

Learned that

The time between now

And when it gets done,

If it even gets done, . . .

      If I had that kind of power, would I protect my son against dire consequences—even those of his own making? Of course I would.

      It’s a hallmark of our generation—a willingness to shield our children from harm and smooth their path, get them into the best preschool, drive them to the field hockey select games, work with them on college applications, help them out with student loans, put them on our health insurance plans and cover the deposit for their first apartment.

      Even when our children struggled, we’ve talked to the physics teacher about why a C+ rather than a B-, and we have interceded with the aggrieved neighbor about the bouncing basketball that destroyed a flower bed.

      Or maybe our kid was caught with a joint in the school bathroom—maybe we laid down the law at home, but we talked to the principal and the school resource officer and worked to soften the penalties. 

      But none of us is the President of the United States. . . .

      We have lived and are still living through tumultuous times. The America we inhabit today in many ways bears scant resemblance to the post-World War II world into which we were born.

      So much has changed that it’s hard to fully grasp, let alone place it in any kind of order. But we have had a go at it. Here is our list, in ascending order, of the ten biggest changes in American life our generation has seen.

      What did we get wrong?

     In August 1965 Sonny and Cher sang “I Got You Babe” on The Ed Sullivan Show.  I was 13. The moment I saw that doe-eyed waif in bell-bottoms sing to her shaggy-haired partner in a bobcat vest, I knew I was leaving my crew cut behind. I’ve been a fan ever since.

      For over 60 years, Cher’s expansive talents have not only blazed multiple trails, but been amazingly resilient. She has garnered Oscar, Golden Globe, Emmy and Grammy Awards and is the only artist to chart number one records in seven consecutive decades. In October, Cher was inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame.

      Now 78, she has written a compellingly candid chronicle of her early life, “The Memoir, Part One.” . . .

      Timothy Snyder, the Yale University historian, wrote the book On Tyranny: Twenty Lessons From the Twentieth Century in 2017, at the beginning of the first Trump administration. Here, in very abridged fashion, are his first 10 lessons, more relevant than ever these gloomy days.

      1. Do not obey in advance. Most of the power of authoritarianism is freely given. In times like these, individuals think ahead about what a more repressive government will want, and then offer themselves without being asked. A citizen who adapts in this way is teaching power what it can do.

      2. Defend institutions. It is institutions that help us to preserve decency. They need our help as well. Do not speak of “our institutions” unless you make them yours by acting on their behalf. Institutions do not protect themselves. So choose an institution you care about and take its side. . . .

“The occasional dose of disorientation, discombobulation”

A Video

A minute-and-a-half long

Click here to view video

      An advertising billboard on I-40 got my attention with the proclamation: The best is yet to come.

      But I'm thinking—wait, what if we're so busy hoping and waiting for the Best That Is Yet To Come—that we miss the precious immediate miracle of the Now?

      And, what if—This ... right now … is the Best of Times? . . .

A classic dish for your holiday, updated for this perilous, querulous era.

***

Ingredients

35 years of family squabbles, still stewing

1 gallon of raw anger

1/2 gallon of steaming rage

1 pint of unadulterated guilt

2 quarts of mild frustration

6 cups of exasperation

2 pints of low-fat antagonism

3 pounds of constant complaining

4 ounces of raw milk, spilled . . . .

          No radio on in the car. Television only to watch the new second season of “The Diplomat” on Netflix and old seasons of “The Morning Show” on Apple TV. Instead of reading the front page of The Times, I go directly to Spelling Bee, and frequently stay there all day (not to brag, but I’ve gotten to Queen Bee level multiple times, and never give up before at least reaching Genius level).

      In other words, I’ve tuned out.

      I can’t bear to watch or hear or read the news. I can’t stomach each new outrage, each Orwellian appointment, each more outrageous reminder that the world is and will be different and awful. Most of all, I can’t bear to hear that voice or see that smirk.

      Apparently, I’m not alone. . . .

     When we first started this site, the idea was to make it a conversation among an alert group of people who have shared some wild times and experiences. And we have succeeded in giving voice to a lot of interesting folks with a lot of interesting things to say about Our Generation—where we’ve been and where we are. We could use more perspectives. Please email us at WritingAboutOurGeneration@gmail.com with your ideas.

     However, to our disappointment, we have not yet succeeded in getting a much of a dialogue going. Some of this was the fault of the clunky, restrictive commenting software that came with this Squarespace blog.

     So we have switched. . . .

     One of the subjects I’ve hoped this website might investigate is where the ideas that so galvanized Our Generation, back when we were more galvanizable, originated. I call that mix of ideas “hippy thought,” and I mean by it the multiple challenges to “straight” understandings and values promulgated by anti-Vietnam War, marijuana-smoking, LSD-curious, ripped-blue-jean-wearing, rock-‘n’-roll-dancing young people in the late 1960s and 1970s.

     I suspect many of the ideas that filled our heads back then are still contributing to the way we look at the world today. That does at least seem to be the case for the way I look at the world, although you wouldn’t necessarily know it from the way I’ve spent the last five decades.

     Previous installments of this investigation—this is the introduction to it— have considered the influence of Whitman and Thoreau, and of the Beatniks. Here I want to look at the influence of something that would not have come to mind back in the day as readily as Whitman, Thoreau and the Beatniks: modernism. . . .

      Now that the raging has subsided a bit...what’s next?

      Forty friends and I hosted a Vermont Women’s Rally a few days before the election. We had Taiko Drummers, U.S. senators, musicians and inspiring speakers. Two thousand people showed up at our Vermont Statehouse on a chilly Nov. 2 day to come together in solidarity around all the issues that we knew would be pulverized if Vice President Harris lost.

      And pulverized they will be. We can expect a national abortion ban, the end to Title X funding, trans rights obliterated and, well, you know the rest. We can expect a domino effect—as one human right tumbles it will hit another and another and one by one, they will fall under the crushing weight of MAGA, creating a road of devastation that will manifest in suffering, loss and pain for many.  

      Our country will be transformed by grifters and oligarchs whose hearts and minds are cruel and vengeful.

      Yet we did everything possible to defeat Trump. . . .

The historian and philosopher Hannah Arendt published The Origins of Totalitarianism in 1951, nearly 75 years ago. And yet her thoughts on the subject of tyranny and lies speak so very clearly to today:

• “The ideal subject of totalitarian rule is not the convinced Nazi or the dedicated communist, but people for whom the distinction between fact and fiction, true and false, no longer exists.”

• “The result of a consistent and total substitution of lies for factual truth is not that the lie will now be accepted as truth, and truth be defamed as lie, but that the sense by which we take our bearings in the real world - and the category of truth versus falsehood is among the mental means to this end - is being destroyed.”

• “When evil is allowed to compete with good, evil has an emotional populist appeal that wins out unless good men and women stand as a vanguard against abuse.” . . .

     After the victory of Donald Trump in the recent election. Christina Hepner Brodie investigated, for her Current Events group in Falmouth, Massachusetts, what would be involved in moving to another country.

     “I eliminated Australia, Canada, Ireland and New Zealand, which I also researched,” she writes. “If I understood correctly, they are only looking for workers, not retirees. Australia even removed their ‘retirement visa’ in 2018.”

     She did put together a chart with considerable information on what would be involved in moving to Costa Rica, France, Italy, Mexico, Panama, Portugal and Spain. “All the research is from online,” she explains, “mostly (but not all) from websites created by the countries.”

• Click here for the introduction to the chart Christina Hepner Brodie wrote for a group of friends in Falmouth, Massachusetts.

• Click here for her chart.

      In many ways, we’ve been living through the golden age of American sports— desegregation and the rise of the black athlete; the ascendancy of pro football; the expansion of baseball, basketball and ice hockey; the growth of soccer; Title IX and the explosion of women’s sports; the ascent of ESPN and its imitators, and the ability to view at home or on our phones almost any major game or match at any time.

      More than perhaps any other previous generation, we have been, in fact, inundated with sports for the entirety of our lives; it may be the one common thread running through our times. The greatest athletes of our era have become renowned and almost totemic figures, more popular than politicians, as famous as performers, more influential than writers or artists.

      But who have been the absolute best?